Guilty of being a working parent?

presentation at the office, you realize today you couldn't have breakfast with your child. Immediately a guilt weighs you down that you are not spending enough time with your child. When you reach home, your child throws tantrums on the dining table that he'll not have dinner but only ice-cream. And you think, 'He must be so sad all the day without me. Let him have some good time'. So you let him have his way. How often do you feel guilty for not being a 'good parent' because you are working? Nursing a guilt will just make you inadequate as a parent and give in to the tantrums of your child. Being constantly on a guilt trip, you'll always come home with the intention to shower kisses and hugs on your child, meet all his demands even though he might have misbehaved in the worst possible manner on that day. Thus, restraining you from adopting a balanced approach. This will only spoil your child and not help you achieve what you have set out for- nurturing your child in the best possible manner. The fact is that effective parenting has no correlation with the quantity of time but with quality of time spent with the child. Thus, there are no different rules of parenting for working or non-working parents. In order to establish a relationship of intimacy and understanding with your child, you don't need to spend the day at length with him. Some moments of quality time are enough. Reserve some time exclusively for your child during the day when no work, T.V. or phone calls disturb you. Have fun with him, talk to him about his feelings, get to know his needs, love him and making him feel that he is the most important person in your life. The term 'quality time' has been largely misconstrued. Quality time doesn't mean reserving certain amount of time for your child as per your convenience. It means being there for him when he needs you. If your child demands your attention as soon as you reach home, don't snub him. He may want to show you the stars on his notebook or talk about his upset over the break up with a friend, which he can't wait to share with you till the allotted time comes. And by the time you are ready to talk to him, your child may not be in the mood or his enthusiasm might have died away! Working parents make special effort to plan holidays or outings to make up for the loss of 'good times' together. But why wait till then? Don't plan or schedule, make 'good times” part of the routine of the day. Mealtime, bath time, bedtime can be as special and enthralling for the child as any holiday and give him some of the most cherished memories of childhood.   Read storybooks to him. Your lap or an embrace would be an add on. Have pillow fights, play hide and seek or have mimickery competition. Have warm chats over the dinner. Sit next to him. Go for a stroll together. Go through his notebooks. Talk about the teachers, friends, the lows and the highs of the day. For your parenting related queries, write to the renowned parenting expert Sudha Gupta at sudha_gupta@mothersprideonline.com Selected questions will win 'Celebrate Childhood' by Sudha Gupta. HAPPY PARENTING! See it is this easy to make your child feel loved and secure. So get out of that guilt, snuggle up with your child and have a good laugh together!